Modern Day Cinderella?

After reading Cinderella I tried thinking of a modern-day version of the fairytale. I immediately thought of a girl desperately wanting to go to the prom, but for whatever reason she couldn't. Then I realized this is how the movie "10 Things I Hate About You" starts. THEN I realized that movie was based on Shakespeare's play 'The Taming of the Shrew." This just proves one of the reoccurring themes of the class: all stories are retellings of another story. For those of you who haven't seen "10 Things I Hate About You" the film is about this girl who wants to go to the prom, but the father won't let her unless her introverted older sister goes as well. The younger sister's love interest pays Heath Ledger to woo the older 'shrew' to ensure she goes to the prom. Just like the Cinderella stories, the story is centered around a special formal event/dance and the heroine goes from being unloved and misunderstood to loved.

Even after recalling this "10 Things I Hate About You" mess, I still wanted to recreate my version of Cinderella. I enjoyed the German version the best because of the heavy schadenfreude laced in it (schadenfreude means the satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone's misfortune). My version will also have plenty of schadenfreude in it as well.

Cinderella and the Fat-Bellied Step-Sisters

Once upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella who lived with two very selfish and conniving step-sisters. Cinderella was constantly teased for wearing off-brand clothing and reading novels instead of Cosmopolitan. The only thing Cinderella and her sisters had in common were their love of a certain band, The Jonas Brothers. The two step-sisters already had plans to go see them in concert, but Cinderella's step-mother, Christy, wouldn't let her go because she despised Cinderella. Cindy always loved her own two daughters much more than her step-daughter and purposely showered them with gifts in hopes of crushing Cinderella's self-esteem even more.

The night of the concert arrived and Cinderella luckily snuck in to the concert without a ticket because security was incredibly poor. She was wearing a Jonas Brothers t-shirt anyway, so she looked the part of a hormone-enraged fan. After the concert, Joe Jonas personally invited her on to his tour bus and made out with Cinderella. Cinderella suddenly realized it was past her curfew and she left in a mad dash. What she didn't realize was that she had lost her bellybutton piercing on the floor of the tour bus.

The next day Joe Jonas couldn't remember what Cinderella looked like, but he had found her piercing and assumed it was hers. From their one brief night of passion, he knew Cinderella was the girl for him. Even though the brothers had to leave town for another concert gig, he decided to stay and quit the band. He desperately combed the town and went door-to-door asking each girl to try to stick the piercing in their bellybutton. He got to Cinderella's house and the two step-sisters jostled to the door. The first sister ripped out the piercing she already had in and tried to wear Cinderella's. Joe Jonas put two and two together and told the girl she was lying. The next sister didn't have her bellybutton pierced, so she ripped a hole into her stomach, causing massive amounts of blood to drip on Joe's shoes. After close examination of the blood, Joe decided this sister was lying as well. Just as he had finished washing off the blood, Cinderella casually walked by the entryway. Joe looked at Cinderella's face very carefully and even though this was the girl he fell in love with, he still wasn't sure she was the one. He asked her to try on the bellybutton piercing and to everyone's surprise, it fit! The couple lived happily ever after.

The two step-sisters later tried to barge their way on to the Jonas Brother's tour bus, but were quickly arrested for assault and trespassing. They spent the rest of their life in the state penitentiary.